08/09/2008 "What can you say to a friend" What can you say to your best friend when it's so apparent that their marriage is falling apart? November 2006 - I thought he was a nice guy...a fob that couldn't speak English to save his life, but a nice guy. They've been dating for 3 months that time. He held her a birthday party at his apartment and cooked her all sorts of food. Nok was with me whispered to me that he seemed like a good guy but she couldn't even speak to him due to that language barrier (she was the one vietnamese girl there). I admit it was hard for me to talk to him too since my Korean is really nil. Okay guy, not really good looking or anything, but he seemed to really like her. December 2006 - She announced they were going to get married. She's been dating him a total of 4 months. Apparently he's been paying $1000 a month to an ESL school to stay in the country with a student visa and she claimed that if she married him then not only will he be able to stay but they can use that money so she can go back to school. I asked her to seriously think about it and she claimed "It's about time I settled down, I'm the homebody type." I laughed through my nose. I tried to get her to hold off. Nok tried to get her to hold off. Her boss tried to get her to hold off. Her parents REALLY tried to get her to hold off. She's the type of girl that is so stubbornly set on something no one can convince her out of something once she has her mind to it. January 2007 - They got married at the state building and sign their marriage certificate. No one was present. They came into my bank (I was working in Wells Fargo at the time) to tell me about it...and to add him as a joint to her account. I was speechless at how fast they did it. At the time, my mind was swimming with "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!!!" but what can I say? She was deliriously happy to the point she was crying with tears of joy. I subtly tried to suggest they open a seperate joint checking account rather than add him to hers but she said it was easier this way. February 2007 - She starts to plan the wedding. I'm maid of honor and the bridesmaids are Nok and Tina. She's planning on having over 300 people at the event. During this time she also meets his parents. While we help her pick out a bridesmaid dress, she tells us how much she hates his dad, stating what a weirdo he is and how he assumes that her family has a lot of money since they've been living in America. (Her family is not rich btw). At this time at how much she was complaining about him I start worrying that she's going to have a lot of in-law problems. March 2007 - They have their wedding at the expense of around $15000 (a loan she took out). Other than her parents, nobody in her family turned out for the event. It was because her family is super Jehovah's Witness, and they stated that she's been living in sin by living with him before they got married. She was in tears that even her own grandma refused to attend. They still had a good 300 people at the wedding. After the ceremony, her father-in-law stepped up to the mike and announced the catered meal was "on him" and to enjoy. I was seething when that man said that because he didn't pay for SHIT. That's HER loan and HER money! He didn't plan for jackshit. Bald son of a bitch. Keep cool, Nancie...you didn't marry his son, she did. April 2007 - At the time, Scott and I have been going out for a year. He's an affectionate P.D type of guy. When we came over to her apartment to help her out, Kathy kept telling us "stop being all over each other like that". Scott told me later that he was a little surprised she would say that considering she was a newlywed herself. A representative from the immigration services interviews them to make sure their marriage is legit. May 2007 - The in-laws decided to come over to America to live with them. THE FUCK. It's one thing to deal with them once in a while when their across the ocean, it's another thing to deal with them while they're LIVING with them. She tried to play it off and be cool about it. Nok and I REALLY began to understand that her husband married her for the greencard and family visas. June 2007 - She was miserable while the parents were staying with them in their dinky 1 bedroom apartment. All they did was go gambling in Blackhawk and drink all the time. The father-in-law keeps telling her they should have a baby. All her friends including myself told her "NO. NO. NO. Once you have a baby they're STAYING with a family visa for sure. NO." She was smart enough to agree. August 2007 - The mother-in-law decides to buy a failing tailoring shop in Broomfield (which is an hour drive from where we are). How did she get the funds you ask? Of course her daughter-in-law's money. Also, did I fail to mention that she hasn't gone to school at all? That $1000 a month has been going to her in-laws mostly. September 2007 - Her husband decides to save money and they move with their parents to an apartment in Broomfield. They basically make her quit her job (she's been working there for 3 years) and tell her to work at a Dry Cleaners for 13 hours a day. Ugh. January 2007 - She said she's been miserable. Living with her in-laws who barely work. Working at the Dry Cleaners for 60 hours a week with no overtime. She said she was no better than an illegal mexican worker. Nok and I keep telling her to leave him, that it's not too late to divorce him and get her life back. She refuses to get divorced because Korean people will talk tons of shit about her mom and her dad if she does. WHAT A STUPID FUCKING REASON!!! February 2007 - She quits her job at the Dry Cleaners and works for her mother-in-law's tailoring shop because business has been dwindling due to the fact the mom-in-law can't speak an ounce of English. Then why come to the country you leeches??? The father-in-law is unemployed by the way. Why work when you have everyone else working for you? May 2007 - She quits the tailoring shop. She couldn't take the mother-in-law's demands and nagging anymore. She and her husband fight all the time now. We're still telling her to divorce him. Why won't she listen? She gets a job as a receptionist at a salon a friend works...which is an hour commute away from where she lives. August 2007 - We come to today where their fighting has finally escalated to the point that even her in-laws are unable to ignore it. The father-in-law stated "I used to think you were a shy and sweet girl, but now I see you're just a rude punk." Oh really? I wonder if he realizes his son is having an online affair via computer with his ex girlfriend. She calls me in tears late last night about it. She finally tells me "I'm not happy. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be here." I want to report them to immigration services SO badly. SOOOOOOOOO BADLY. I want that family to be in crate boxes and shipped via UPS back to Korea. These people not only cost my best friend her savings, her family, and her self-respect, they want her to give up her sanity as well. As she was crying on the phone, she claimed that she didn't want the Korean people to talk shit about me if I help her. Seriously? Fuck Korean society. If it means suffering through a marriage with no affection, no love, constantly catering to the needs of lazy leeches, losing all your money, having to be tricked into a fake marriage just for a green card...fuck Korean Society to hell. YOU HEAR THAT KOREAN SOCIETY??? I SAY FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. There will be more to come later.